June 17, 2016

A Closer Look at “Death”

As a follow-up to the discussion of “The Costume Party,” in the wake of watching a video of a long-time client of mine making her remarks at her twin sister’s funeral last week, I thought it would be of value to take a closer look at the experience we refer to as “death.”

I was out and on my own, far away from where I grew up, when my grandparents died, so my first encounter with death was when a close friend of mine died very suddenly, from a ruptured aneurysm at the base of his brain. I was 26 and he was 28. It didn’t seem like people our age would die, but he obviously did. It was a shock and it led me to write some poetry to deal with my sense of loss. Time passed and so did the shock of it all.

The next time death paid me a call was three days before I faced my first class as a sixth-grade teacher in my first year as a classroom teacher. I was then 28 years old. The phone call came that my father was dying from the effects of the cancer he had been diagnosed with 1½ years before. My uncle managed to get me a “bereavement seat” on a plane to fly home, but my father died while I was in the air, so the only time I got to see him was after he was lying in the coffin at his funeral.

The coffin was in a sort of backstage area and open. My mother was standing by the coffin, beating on it with her fists and crying out in anger, “Benny, why did you leave me!” I looked into the coffin and saw my father’s body, but that waxen form was not my father at all. It was then that I clearly realized for the first time that the body was not the spirit/person that had animated it. I was in a sort of daze, trying to register all of it.

There were so many people who attended the funeral out of respect for my father, the large sanctuary couldn’t hold them all. Many were people who had known my father through his business as an outside salesman for restaurant and bar equipment, so I was astonished by how many accompanied us to the cemetery after the services at the funeral home. From the limousine at the front, I looked back and could not see the end of the cars that followed us.


I had a very strong bond with my father. Because I had to start teaching right after I got back to where I was living, I didn’t have the opportunity to really grieve until a year later, after school closed and I went on to work elsewhere. My father remained close to me for the next seven years. I could feel his presence, but no words or thoughts passed between us, and as my life went on, he gradually drew further away and I came to believe he incarnated again after that.

My mother remarried and was married to her second husband for 20 years before he, too, died. She fully expected to be buried next to and be reunited with my father after her death, but when she did actually die, I saw her looking in to see who came to her memorial services and then she turned and went off with her second husband instead.

When the hospital had called to tell my brother and I that my mother has “passed” early that morning, we went there to take a last look at her before the funeral home came to take her body away and put it in the casket we had selected for her. She was still there, above the bed, and I felt her wrap herself around my head in a last hug. My second cat had done the exact same thing when she died and had passed out of her body, so I recognized the gesture when my mother did it. However, unlike my father who stayed around for years to watch over me, when my mother had done her “count” of who had shown up for her services, she turned her back on the life she had led and never looked back. She was totally done with it and with me.

I mention these things now because when I watched that video of my client’s sister’s memorial services, I was struck anew with how much misunderstanding surrounds the idea of death. My client’s sister had wanted to leave, but those around her could not bear the thought of losing her. She had been diagnosed with liver cancer 14 months earlier. My client and all of those who were connected to her sister went to unbelievably heroic lengths to “save her.” During that time, in a rare moment of candor, my client told me that she suspected her sister did not want to stay, but my client couldn’t accept and support that, so everything was done to try to avert that outcome, including feeding her sister with a feeding tube when she wouldn’t eat on her own anymore.

However, when my client spoke at her sister’s funeral, she did acknowledge that because the thought of being without her sister was unbearable to my client and her sister’s husband, it was perhaps that they were trying to save themselves from having to face that outcome, rather than trying to save her sister, who was content to lie down and “go to sleep” with total faith in God taking care of her soul.


In addition to the experience of loss that death brings, there is the entire thing that people do to convince themselves that what they do afterwards matters to the deceased. There is the choice of the casket if there is going to be a burial, the placement of the burial plot (often next to other relatives who preceded them) and visits to the grave site afterwards, to commune with the deceased.


I do not take issue with any of these practices, and in fact I can see them as part of the script that brought all of these individuals together for a while. However, it seems to not jibe with what “death” really is. I almost titled this article, “Graves are for the living,” because I tend to look at these rituals and practices as ways that the living deal with their sense of loss when they lose someone close to them, even in those instances when the actual relationship was less then harmonious much of the time. However, given how my father stayed with me for so many years, and how my mother hung around for three days after she left her body, just to see who came to her services, I think they also matter for a while (be it long or short) to those who have left their bodies behind, but still harbor feelings for those they left behind also.


Much that makes up what we call “life” is inextricably wound together with the passage we call “death.” None of it is “final,” except as it becomes fact to us, but emotions are not rational, and it takes time to come to terms with loss. Grief comes in waves when we least expect it, and when it comes, it’s best to just let it move through us and let ourselves surrender into its healing force.

Death is perhaps the most obvious kind of loss, but there are many kinds of losses to grieve, in order to heal from them. Much of my life, I did not have the luxury of grieving the many losses I incurred as I made my way through this life, and it has been part of my process — up to and including this latest phase of “finishing school” — to finally release the tears from the years I could not actively grieve when I needed to. I have been told that “It isn’t until you have cried all the tears for all the years that you can receive what is coming next.”

I went through a period of intense “inner crying” earlier this year, and now I just feel at peace. I see what’s going on in the outer world, and I become very quiet, like animals do when they sense an approaching storm. Yesterday I was guided to consolidate some of my credit card debt through a low-interest balance transfer offer from one of my credit cards and when I had activated the offer, I felt like something had clicked. The peg had fallen into the hole, ker-chunk, and now I was secure in my seat, waiting for the rocket to take off. I have been feeling since then that “I am ready now,” with a serenity I have not known or felt for a very long time. All of the drama slides off of me and leaves me serene in the face of the approaching storm. I also know that a tremendous wave of change is building and it will change everything, but I am still serene, even knowing that. I know I will be fine, no matter what form things take around me.

As that man in that bleedthrough from hundreds of years ago had told me when I asked how I could interact with him in my present, “We go on.” We go on, no matter what may happen to these bodies. We go on, and that brings me peace.

Until next time,

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16 Comments on “A Closer Look at “Death”

paul joseph
June 18, 2016 at 3:58 PM

Good post Traveler and I for one believe that “we grieve for ourselves” when someone close to us dies and for me not grieving for the person that died, since for me, they are in a better, loving, peaceful place.

Love, peace and happiness.

paul joseph

William Haley
June 19, 2016 at 12:51 AM

Thank you for bringing us fellow travelers your insight on dropping our 3D hulls. Your thoughts put into words will help people get alligned and make sense of their own thoughts. Your message speaks for me and is parallel to my own understanding of this portion of the creators madness.

We kept the family’s west highland terrier here for a year longer than we should have because we couldn’t let go. She was in pain her last year here but we couldn’t let go of the 16 years of physical presence. I have borrowed energy from the Angels before on many occasions like when my son and best friend got ran over by a renegade bulldozer several years ago but the Angels literally carried me home when I drove Picabo to vet for the last time so she could go home. Crushing beyond words. The Angels drove me home and put me in bed.

Because of our individual and collective knowledge of life and the death of our borrowed hulls for an incarnation we knew we would be catching up with Picabo when we joined her on the other side. Guaranteed. But it was the absence of her joyful physical 3D presence that crushed us. Like a huge portion of the love in our lives was vacuumed away and left a void. Even knowing we would be catching up with her later it was all of the physical love and fun she added to the family that took a year to get over and she is still missed today.

It is a sad fact that without the illusion of death life would take on even less seriousness than it has now. We kill each other over commerce.

Everything you stated concerning the approaching storms of all kinds is totally accurate but still falls short of describing the magnitude of the chaos. You are currently using very knowledgable advisors and I very much appreciate your genuinely trying to prepare ( the people with eyes to see ) what is going down. There is no strangeness at all in the sinking of our ship because of how it was commanded. The oddity is how it was kept afloat this long.

If it weren’t for foreign central banks loaning us Trillions of dollars obligated for 40 years into the future this illusionary wealth would have been gone thirty years ago. It would take a 2″ thick book to brief people on the degree they have been deceived concerning every faced of life in, on and off of this planet. It is mind boggling. So I won’t go there.

Keep this in mind. As far wanting to “go on” here, can’t see it. This is a planet of madness. Everyone that gets to go home before the pole shift will be a winner. It is immaterial if you take your costume with you. Out of billions of souls that have gone home, none of them wanted to come back! Does that tell you anything ? There is coming a day when there we be in a in a total state of deep serenity for eternity. Totally worth it.

Eternal life on Terra is a thought to cherish and a goal of honor. We travelers came here, saw the madness in the human domain, noted it and walked away from it. Wisdom.

William Haley

June 19, 2016 at 11:50 AM

William, thank you for sharing all of that. Regarding your experience with Picabo, I believe that animals can often be our best teachers precisely because of their profound acceptance of whatever it is that we do in connection with them. I am sure you did the best you could at the time, and it was a lesson for you to grasp that you caused her pain through your unwillingness to face your own pain when you contemplated losing her presence in your life. As a breed, “Westies” are naturally adorable, and it’s easy to understand your attachment to that bright spot she brought to your life. You displaced your own pain onto her, so it’s yourself that you have to forgive for doing that. I am sure she is beyond all pain, and it was part of her reason for being in your life to demonstrate that lesson for you.

I did not have to face the question of “when” it was time for euthanasia until a routine blood test on my second cat revealed that her kidneys were failing. Her littermate had developed an inoperable tumor 10 years earlier and was “put down” while she was still under the anethesia for the exploratory surgery that had been done to find out why she had just stopped eating and hid under the bed all day.

In the case of Meusch (my second cat), the vet had said that it would be time if she had stopped eating and drinking for three days. When that happened, she was just lying around all day, staying very close to me, which was not her usual custom. I took her in to the vet and when she saw him, she brightened, as if to say, “Oh, good! You’re going to make me feel better.” She nestled her head into the curve of my neck as I held her and did not resist at all when he put the needle in her vein, but when the anesthetic hit her heart and stopped it, she whirled around and gave him a look of anger and betrayal, as if to say “What are you doing!!!” That look burned into my consciousness, and even before she stopped breathing, I inwardly vowed I would not prematurely terminate a life again.

The next time was when Geronimo developed cancer in his face. He was characteristically spunky, but one day it became clear that it was “time.” He did not resist at all, and gratefully accepted the last tummy rub before the vet put him down. So later on, when his littermate Amador developed cancer in his side, I expected him to also show me when it was time, but he didn’t. He clung to life so ferociously, even after he could no longer eat, I didn’t recognize the signs in time to prevent him from suffering the pains starvation. I didn’t recognize what was going on until he simply lacked the strength to close his eyelids, which filled me with horror when I realized that I had waited too long. He even fought the tranquilizer I gave him for the ride to the vet, and when the lethal dose hit him, he floated up like a feather and I saw him go into the light. I suffered guilt for a long time afterward that I had unintentionally caused him pain. I had no way of knowing that I had to make the decision for him, but I still felt I should have known, and the vet’s condemnation of my having waited only worsened my guilt.

I agree with the rest of your comments, except to say that it wasn’t only foreign central banks that collaborated in creating the approaching collapse. The Federal Reserve System of private banks based here in the US has played a large role in creating the present conditions here, too. In addition, when the US declared bankruptcy in 1933, the conservators of all of the assets of the former republic (it is now a corporation) was the Federal Reserve. To everyone, if you want to inform yourself about these facts, there are many places to find them. I suggest you read Rep. William Traficant’s 1993 address to Congress for an overview of what this actually means, and a lengthy, but well-written article on the same subject that traces both the history and implications of all of the cumulative effects since 1913, when the Federal Reserve was granted its charter as the result of a secret meeting with certain Senators that bypassed Congress in the process.

Yes, now we can see through the lies and see right down to the core. I can also grasp that the hour is late and our vision and dream of Terra is also coming closer with each day. What is going on around us is what one man dubbed, “The terminal madness of the end times,” and I think that is a very apt description. It makes no sense except through the lens of separation consciousness, competition instead of cooperation, and entropy instead of love.


William Haley
June 19, 2016 at 5:00 PM

I remember when Amador went home. Just one of many dark-night-of-the-soul for you. I remember thinking I wish I had some of your intuitiveness. It seems like you told us about being able to view the transformation and the link up of Amador’s atomic structure to the 4rth density structure. I was jealous of your encredible insight and esoteric knowledge and abilities.

You are correct in that it was ultimately the Federal Reserve steering all of the central bank collusion. The man who wrote, The Creature from Jekyll Island wasn’t guessing.

James Traficant was one of my many heroes. Like so many, his open honesty cost him his livelihood and maybe his life. Never had time to look into the tractor accident on his farm but I was certainly saddened by his departure. Sad story. A man of great honor and character.

Sometimes I relate to your 4D expression. When it happens accidently I just accept it as what I should have said. Not sure if that makes it okay but that’s the way it happens. Sometimes I seem to relate to Sara and sometimes Addona. Don’t really know why. I view them as two different names for the same beautiful soul and let the inner knowing at the time of the writing pick the name or expression to use.

White buffalo

William Haley
June 19, 2016 at 10:55 AM

Just for comfort and understanding. Didn’t mean to leave my fellow travelers hanging.

I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone about my son’s accident at the time as I am not the kind that needs much comfort or likes sympathy. So for many nights it was the Angels and I.

Everyone close to us knew about it through constant non stop dialogue. My fellow workers knew so there was no need to bring it up in discussion, The standard gossip kept it on the forefront for awhile. Some of us are to busy with highly demanding jobs to do much jabbering. Went to work, went to the hospital.

This traveler shut down his life on September 12, 2001 and begian the longest, largest and most comprehensive ( quest-for-knowledge-venture ) I have ever heard of from a single human being. Motivated by watching the image of a giant aluminum airplane disappear into a sky scraper and fear for humanity. Much of my knowledge about the entire esoteric portion of reality was constantly guided by the lady that made all of this possible by agreeing to shut down her life and bring us the guidance from Host. None of this would be happening had she not done that. Hats off and honor to you young lady.

My heart told me if someone doesn’t stop there life and find out what’s wrong the human domain on this planet and possibly the planet itself might be through. For the last 15 years research has been my only hobbie. 30 to 40 hours a week for a decade and a half. Almost no transmitting from me. 95 percent of the research was absorbing incoming intelligence from in the earth, on the earth and above the earth to the outer edges of this universe. Almost every subject. I viewed my learning mission as important as a soldier would his mission of blowing up a bridge before the enemy crossed it.

Sink or swim for humanity. The massive absorption of information doesn’t make someone correct on any given topic. It just means that the thought and opinion generated is supported by a lot of input and only increases the odds of a more correct conclusion. So please take all of this as just one more travelers opinion.

The marathon research quest only verified a madness within the human domain without any real way to fix it. I found humanity in a state of concousness where all individual thinking had been halted and replaced with some sort of say-what you-hear mentality. This lostness among concousness appeared to be sourcing from the TV. For instance what ever the TV said they simply repeat it. What the TV called a fact the people simply quoted it as a fact. It didn’t make any difference if there was no evidence to support it and a mountain of evidence to deny it. The public simply repeats what the TV tells it to repeat. If the TV labeled something a conspiracy theory, that’s what the people called it. No questions asked. A type of hear and say mentality.

The driverless runway bulldozer drug my son into the only mud hole on site before it ran over him. If it weren’t for the mud allowing his right leg to sink down the steel tracks would have been fatal. The mud allowed for some sure enough damage but nothing like it would have been on concrete do hard dirt. A lot of the pressure from the tractor was transferred to the mud as his leg sank deep into it.

My son made a slow recovery from the bull dozer and works with me today. As I looked up and watched him leave in the helicopter I was having a hard time understanding the workings of life. We enjoy a highly productive life today.

If there was ever an illustration within the OT material that describes what’s coming up go to Volume 3, Listen Within. Midway down the page you will see a clown holding his ears. This is where we are. The instability and chaotic concousness is at a pinnacle in every facade of life within the human domain. Expect multiple occasions when you will be inclined to hold your ears. Not just to keep out the incoming political jabber but to cushion the upcoming chaotic noise.

White buffalo

June 19, 2016 at 12:05 PM

White Buffalo/William,

I am hardly a “young lady” anymore, but I certainly appreciate your tribute to my long years of service. I am glad your son recovered.

“Listen Within” is back on the web again. The words just above the clown picture advise us, “The best way through these times is to listen within and tune out anything that is not in keeping with your own inner wisdom. There will be much to tune out.”

Just yesterday I had the perception of just how much NOISE there is in that outer world. If I attempt to engage with anything that is NOT in keeping with my inner wisdom and truth, even if it seems relatively harmless on the surface, underneath there is that noise, similar to the “snow” one used to see on the old-style TV sets when there was nothing being received — “white noise.” It grates like the sound of electrical static and is just as devoid of pattern and meaning. The only place where it’s quiet is when I am at peace within myself and actively listening within. Thank you for pointing that out. I, for one, am glad we still have a place to gather and offer what comfort we can to each other while the rest of the madness plays out and we move on beyond it.


June 19, 2016 at 11:21 AM

William Haley excellent post. I agree with some of your points. Missing the loved ones energy and personality, be it a human or pet, does leave a void, but, that void can be filled by other humans, pets, and though they are not the exact same, they can help ease the pain. I long for a world without the base cruelty and ignorance, the apathy and helplessness, the madness, as you put it, of a world clearly insane in so many ways, these ways accepted as just the way it is. Hard to live in this environment, a certain effort is needed to find peace and harmony wherever you can find it. I don’t know what comes after death, I don’t even know if Jesus really said ‘death is an abomination”, if someone just wrote that into history or how accurate it is, I wasn’t there, not the I that is typing these words, the personality that may decease along with the physical body in the abomination that is death. The more I wake up the more difficult it is living in a world so void of love. Death, or walking through a door to a place that is filled with love and respect for life, however small, will be welcome.

William Haley
June 21, 2016 at 9:14 PM

I spent hundreds of hours receiving reports from around the earth and universe in the total silence of a study. The insanity on this planet permiates every sector of the human domain. The madness on this planet will not be missed by this one at all and can’t wait to here the excuse for allowing it. I feel like somebody on the other side of veil owes me an apology for letting me come here.

Thank you Linda for the lines of truth. Conversation can lead to great understanding when applied correctly. I have had the privledge of feeling and resonating on the 4rth density for a few seconds on 3 different occasions.

The feeling truly can not be put into words. You can try to describe it with words but it is a feeling that really has to be experienced in order to truly grasp the wonder of the serenity. The visions were to let me know just that. That everything will be different.

The more a soul dislikes this place the more they will resonate with Terra. I am quite confident you will agree. My few short periods on the 4rth density were the opposite of everything on this planet concerning the human domain.


William Haley
June 23, 2016 at 7:33 PM


Thank you for your thoughts . The void was filled with other forms of love just like you said.

I couldn’t have describe the madness here better than you did. My research time was spent In the total serenity of a study with a sanctuary setting. The research showed madness in every corner of the human domain.

There is no such thing as death. If you have any reservations about the illusion of death or the when your costume will be returned to the earth, you are labor under a self made illusion perpetrated by many western religion . Fire and brimstone type fairy tales.

Linda when you melt into the vibration of Terra is when you be able to really see the madness of this world. Only your costume stops functioning for you and you put it back in the ground. Most of us have chosen a new suit to come here several times. Your only regret on the other side will be wishing you had got there sooner !

You will enjoy the wonders of the after life until you lose your mind and let someone talk you into doing another 3 D earth tour. That where we messed up.

I can’t imagine what I was thinking when I was on the other side of the veil when agreed to come back here again and do one more last tour. I must have been on drugs. Can’t imagine coming here on purpose !

The eternal peace we are seeking will be after this ending. Before this ending is over there will not be a single human being viewing this show with excitement. Not one. No one has a future on this planet until after this closing
purification. Your thinking is correct.

Wankan tanka

June 19, 2016 at 3:26 PM

Thank you Traveler for you gift of this article it s important to recognize as you stated: “We go on.” We go on, no matter what may happen to these bodies. We go on, and that brings me peace.”

Thank you for sharing your family and pet stories with us as it means a lot.

When we grieve it is for us and missing those who have crossed over as they are truly at better place.

I really enjoyed the comments here from William and sharing so much at this time is really appreciated and great timing with what we are currently going through here on earth. I loved all the follow up comments and agree with Linda’s comment ” The more I wake up the more difficult it is living in a world so void of love. Death, or walking through a door to a place that is filled with love and respect for life, however small, will be welcome.”

June 19, 2016 at 3:48 PM

I was in Fiji at the beginning of February 2013 when my father went into the hospital in Bristol, UK. It was also the only time when I couldn’t get cell phone service and the place we stayed at didn’t have wifi. Toward the end of the trip I began to feel very anxious and knew something bad was going on. When I got back to Auckland, sure enough i had a slew of emails and texts. I began to make preparations to fly half way around the world to see dad but I never got the chance to speak with him because he passed away peacefully. For quite a while I beat myself up about this until I remembered something from a long time ago. I was close to my paternal grandfather and during my awakening period I went into another reality where I met my grandfather and he showed me the house he had built (and the beautiful surroundings) where my father would go shortly after passing over. When I remembered that, suddenly I felt at peace knowing everything had happened exactly as it should and I have been there ever since in regard to dad.

By coincidence I will be in London when they take the Brexit referendum. I hope they do leave. It’s time for things to change and I don’t see a total remake of the EU as a bad thing. I don’t see major change as bad either. I suppose I come from the position that the glass is always half full even when it seems it’s empty. Likewise, when one door closes, may others open up. But all of this comes from my life experiences.


William Haley
June 21, 2016 at 9:57 PM

It is so good to here from you Marissa. I am impressed with your livelihood and your ability to travel. Sorry to here about your dad and the absence of a good-by.
That is hard thing to carry until you can come to terms with it. You reasoned yourself perfectly through it. Some of us wish we could have the ability to go to another reality for learning and understanding. Some of us have to stick with just the reasoning.

I remember you enlightening us on the subduction zones off the California/Oregon Coast. The Cascadia zone is behaving like never before in history as is the whole ring of fire and all other known seismic zones. Not just slightly more active, off the wall active. Can you comment on the activity and what happens to this activity on your time line ?

White buffalo

Jo Knox
June 20, 2016 at 1:11 PM

This string of replies to Traveler’s post are especially helpful to me…I use to think my life script was abandonment and any loss, (my parents when I was preteen, husband, son and many animal friends) was really hard to experience. Today, I see and feel a much larger design and script. Very glad to be a part of this wonderful and loving fellow travelers!
standing oak

William Haley
June 21, 2016 at 10:17 PM

Welcome aboard jo Knox.

This is a very obscure speck of the cyber world. If you are here, odds are you were meant to be here.No one has a future on this planet until the purification is over. Fathers want to know there is a future for everyone coming along behind them but there is not one. It is somewhat incorrect for us to treat the earth or people like we are the last ones that will need a place to live. To my knowledge no one every ascended to 4rth density of life and ever wanted to return to 3D. To my knowledge that is by design and perfectly as it should be.

This upcoming cleansing will end all of the planetary madness so the planet and a new
totally balance humanity can begin new . It will be as perfect as creation can allow. Just as promised. A new heaven and a new earth.

Buffalo bill

Marissa Carter
June 24, 2016 at 11:49 AM

Bill, great to hear from you again. I don’t have specific information in regard to earthquakes, including Cascadia, but sooner or later there will be serious earthquakes in these regions. Just a matter of when not if.

I was privileged to see events transpire today in the UK. Definitely a historic moment. I feel strongly that the EU will unravel and be eventually a completely different animal years from now. People here are calling it a revolution. When the shock and awe have worn off and people have exited their financial positions, markets will stabilize, but we are definitely in a turbulent period for a while.


June 24, 2016 at 12:12 PM

Marissa, I agree. I “saw” that we would be “in it” by June 20, and while it’s 4 days after that, I think that was a pretty good estimate on my part. When I look at the spreadsheet I use to track my income and outflow, I am seeing a financial void after July 20, but don’t know how to interpret that. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, but I am having an increasing feeling of having a front row seat and everything being pure theater, while I am just watching it play out without feeling part of it in any way. I hope to write more on this later, but right now am working on a project for pay, so my post will have to wait until I am done with that.


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